By I.M. Satire
The U. S. Census Bureau announced today that it would be adding a new race classification to the census forms to be distributed for the 2020 census.
Director John Sykes of the Census Bureau offered an explanation. “With those of African decent being referred to as ‘African-Americans’, as well as similar compound-named classifications, it did not seem appropriate to refer to those of European decent solely as ‘Caucasian’ or ‘white’. We are therefore replacing ‘Caucasian’, with ‘European-American’.”
One reporter at the news conference questioned decision further, asked about mixed-race citizens.
“There will be an ‘Other’ category as well, whereby an individual can further clarify his race. For example, since President Obama’s mother is of European decent (and thus a European-American), Mr. Obama can specify in the ‘Other’ category that he is European-African-American, or perhaps African-European-American, if he feels he is more prevalent in his African heritage. Of course, this can have the unfortunate consequence of rather lengthy descriptions in that ‘Other’ category. If an individual is descended from parents of such mixed-race categories, we could end up seeing something like ‘African-European-Asian-Native American-Hispanic-American’, which can be quite a mouthful. We’d suggest putting just, ‘human’ in such circumstances.”